Lift buttons always best me. There I am in the lift and I see or sense someone briskly approaching to try to make it in before the doors close. I am a polite man, I smile at babies and small children, nod acknowledgement at old people and am careful not to step on wheelchair users. So, in this situation, I am desperate to help my compatriot, but never manage to figure out which button to press to trigger the door stay open function.
Rue, the two icons are exceedingly similar. In a rush, when I gaze at the buttons <|> and >|< they meld into a blurry mess of less than, greater than and the pipe. The symbols enshroud me, playing tricks on my mind, is it an in-facer or an out-facer? They dance around in a pulsating conga line of confusion; laughing at me. In desperation I poke at random, hoping for the best, both for me and for my rushing potential friend.
In my sweaty haste I press the, 'close lift doors warp factor 9, Scotty!' button. Alas, the doors close, leaving my now-nemesis on the other side waving their fist at me and giving me the old stink eye. You filthy, dirty, rotten..!
Meanwhile I ascend dejected, empty and alone. If only the lift buttons were labelled, 'Open' and 'Close' this wouldn't have happened. When I reach my desk I pray I don't encounter my new enemy again and receive the warranted knuckle sandwich or verbal berating. I curse the lift and its button designer and I quietly fight my battle with them by writing this.
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